


The Ties That Bind

by mariachiMushroom



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Aliens, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Red String of Fate, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariachiMushroom/pseuds/mariachiMushroom
Summary: Everyone is born with a soulbond and the hope that they might one day find their soulmate. Everyone except for Morty Smith, whose soulbond has been severed. When his grandfather Rick comes to live with the Smith family, the ensuing hijinks keep Morty's mind off his severed soulbond. But is their relationship platonic, or something more?





	The Ties That Bind

_ Throughout  _ _ The Marriage of Beatrice _ _ , sewing motifs are used to to develop Beatrice’s emotional turmoil over whether to accept her soulmate. In an essay of at least three pages, choose one example and explain its significance to plot, characterization, and theme. _

I groaned as I read the question. There goes my chance of having a fun weekend. Why did Mrs. Penn have to assign an essay over the weekend? Didn’t she have a better hobby than tormenting freshmen? Oh, sure, she said she’s preparing us for college, but we both know that half the class isn’t going to make it there, myself included.

I pulled out a blank sheet of lined paper and added my name, period, and the date.  _ Morty Smith, Period 1, 10/11/20XX _ . With letters the height of the wide-ruled paper, I wrote the introduction, being sure to reword the question as verbosely as possible.  _ In this very informative and meticulously researched essay, I will explain the incredible significance of the sewing motif in the scene— _ There, I hit a roadblock. 

I pulled up the Spark Notes page for  _ The Marriage of Beatrice _ , the play we were reading for English class, and skimmed through the plot description. The gist was that Beatrice, a noblewoman, was betrothed to a man from a rival family to end a bloody feud. To make their marriage more legitimate, they pretended to be each other’s soulmates, as was the custom in those days. Before the marriage ceremony, Beatrice discovers that her true soulmate is a commoner, and then there’s this famous monologue of her angsting over her duty verses her love. In the end, she kills herself, which is such a cop-out if you ask me.

The section on themes and motifs told me that threads and cloth are frequently used as metaphors for soulbonds, but it was super general and didn’t list any quotes. I knew for a fact that Mrs. Penn wouldn’t accept my essay without citing page numbers. I picked up the weighty tome and rifled through the pages. Half the book was footnotes explaining the idioms of 16th century English, and the other half was in iambic pentameter. The text swam before my eyes.

Well, I’d already written half a page. Time for a break. I pushed away from my desk and flopped onto my bed. My sister Summer had taken English with Mrs. Penn. Maybe I could get her to help me. Anything to avoid having to read that book. I stared at the ceiling through the fingers of my right hand. A red strand began from the base of my pinky and looped around my wrist, like a bracelet made of solidified blood. The end dangled in my face, a reminder of my own incompleteness. 

Beatrice might have suffered from being so close to her soulmate, but at least she knew who he was. My soulbond was broken, the chance of me finding my soulmate, zero. This defect had bothered me for as far back as I could remember. In my first grade production of Noah’s Ark, I was supposed to be one half of a pair of dogs. When my teacher tied to tie me and my classmate together with a piece of red yarn, I threw a fit. I didn’t have the words to tell her why I was upset. So I just cried. In the end, my spot was taken by a stuffed dog, so I can’t say I was necessary at all.

As far as I knew, I was the only person in the world with a severed soulbond. Some people had no soulbond at all, but that meant their soulmate hadn’t been born yet or had died. I had never heard of anyone with a cut soulbond, not in the news, the library, or on the internet. I did find a lot of kooky sites that sold “rituals” to ensure your soulmate was handsome and rich, but those sites also claimed that I was their 10,000th visitor and deserved a free iPod. So I saved time and stuck to the porn sites.

If I could never find my soulmate, then the next best thing would be to forget about the whole mess. Lots of people never found their soulmates and just settled for the girl next door. Too bad I couldn’t go two steps outside my door without having soulbonds shoved down my throat. They appeared in commercials, on billboards, in cartoons. Happy smiling people (or animals, or animated objects) secure in the knowledge that “the one” was out there. 

Everyone has a soulmate, except me, I guess. I’m just a freak like that.

“Summer, Morty, come down quick!” called Mom, disrupting my well-tread self loathing. “There’s someone here to meet you.” Who could that be? Hopefully not another math tutor. I hopped off my bed and went downstairs. Summer followed behind me, her eyes glued to her smartphone. Mom was standing in the kitchen, clutching the arm of an old man like she was afraid he’d vanish otherwise. Her makeup was streaked at the corners of her eyes.

“Dad,” Mom said, “these are my kids, Summer and Morty. Kids, say hello to your Grandpa Rick.” Rick had a lean and pointed face, with a nose like a shark’s fin. With his spiked blue hair, stained lab coat stained, and purple gloves going up to his elbows, he could have been a mad scientist from a cartoon, emphasis on the “mad” part. He pinned me with his piercing blue eyes like I was a bug on a corkboard, taking in my frayed yellow shirt, my curly brown hair, my chewed-up fingernails. His gaze seemed to catch, for just a second, on my soulbond. Could he see it? But his expression remained neutral.

“So you’re Morty,” Rick said, with the air of someone inspecting a used car. 

“Uhh, h-hi?” I stuttered, my nervous stutter manifesting itself at the worst time.

“Nice to finally meet you, kid. Come-come give your old grandpa a hug.” I’d rather have hugged a cactus. Rick’s lab coat was covered in mysterious stains and I could smell the booze rolling off his body from a yard away. But what could I do? He was my grandpa. I held my breath and let him wrap his long arms around me. A rectangular bulge in his lab coat pressed into my sternum.

“Hold on, are you  _ the _ Grandpa Rick?” said Summer. “The guy from the bedtime stories who went to outer space and fought aliens?” 

“Yeah, a-and robots and vampires too.” Rick spoke with a distinct stutter, even though his words exuded confidence. So that’s where I got it from. Summer rolled her eyes.

“I’m seventeen, Rick, you don’t have to make up fake stories to get me to like you.”

“Oh, y-you think vampires are made up, huh? Wait till your dog turns up dry as jerky, we’ll see who’s laughing then.”

“W-what’s going to happen to Snuffles?” I said. Snuffles the family dog was my only friend.

“Don’t fall for that Morty,” scoffed Summer, “he’s just making it up for attention, like that vet from the old folk’s home.”

“You think I’m making it up, huh?” From inside his labcoat, Rick pulled out a strange white gun with a glowing green tube, waving it wildly. “I’ve seen things you can’t even imagine, whole worlds in a grain of sand, a dimension where time runs backwards and you die with your head shoved up your mom’s—”

“—What Rick means is that he’s a scientist!” interjected Mom. “And an explorer and a genius inventor. He’s going to be moving into the spare room downstairs, isn’t that wonderful?”

“If you’re so smart, how come you’re living with us instead of, like, kicking around in the Carribbean?” said Summer.

“What, i-is it so weird for an old man, practically on my deathbed, to want to hang out with his grandkids before I go off to my sweet rest?” Rick did not look like he was going to die soon. His frame buzzed with nervous energy, animating his every gesture. “In fact, I need a little helper right now for an errand.” 

“Not me.” Summer touched the tip of her nose. 

“Aww geez.” Rick clamped my arm in an inescapable grip.

“Looks like it’s you and me, then, Rick and Morty, going on our first adventure.” I did not like the sound of that. Errands were not supposed to be “adventures,” unless you lived in a favela.

“I-I can’t go now, I still have an essay to write.” I begged Mom with my eyes to save me from this weird old man who had just barged his way into my life.

“It’ll be ten minutes, tops,” said Rick.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Dad, you can get some good bonding time in before dinner,” said Mom, completely ignoring my plea. “Morty, maybe you could pick up some science from Rick, god knows you’re not getting any at school.”

“All right, Morty, get your shoes on. We’re picking up some eggs!” Rick said way too enthusiastically. I was defeated. At least it would be a nice break from homework.

***

“Run for your life, Morty!” Rick didn’t have to yell at me. I was already running as fast as I could from the giant, three-headed lizard monster that was chasing me. The source of the monster’s fury? The clutch of blue eggs tucked in my shirt, fresh and slimy from the cloaca.

“It just wants the eggs! C-can’t we just put them back?” I panted, each breath an agony. Rick lept from rock to rock with the skill of a mineral-craving sheep. I tried to follow him, but my short legs couldn’t make the gap. Rick caught me by the shirt just before I fell into the gob of slime.

“I need those eggs, Morty, it’s very important. If you break a single egg, I’ll kill you!” Rick shot a portal and tossed me through it. With a gooey splat, I fell in front of the living room couch, bracing my fall with a forearm to protect the eggs. I collapsed on my side, sucking in air as fast as I could. Dog hair flew into my mouth, but I didn’t care. I was safe, in a normal, sane place without horrifying lizard monsters. 

“Dad, is that you?” Mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

“Yeah, sweetie, I’m back from the errand.” Rick plucked an egg from the mass in my hand. A string of goop broke off and hit me in the face.

“Mom,” I said, “Grandpa Rick is crazy! We went through some kind of portal and-and there were aliens and—”

“We got those blue eggs you like so much!” Rick presented the eggs to Mom. Her eyes lit up like she’d been handed an expensive bottle of wine.

“Oh Dad, I haven’t had blue eggs in years! I remember how Mom used to make blue eggs and ham on Saturday morning. I’ll cook them right up tomorrow.” She cupped her hands expectantly.

“Don’t touch them yet, they’re covered in a toxin, it discourages predators.” He didn’t tell me that! I squeegeed the goop off my arms, wiping it onto the carpet. “Rick, I’m all slimed up!” My skin prickled. “Oh geez, I-I don’t feel right.” I scratched at my arms. Rick slapped my hand away.

“Don’t scratch! You’ll only introduce the toxin into your bloodstream.” Rick dumped the slimy mass of eggs on the coffee table. “Call me when dinner’s ready,” he said to Mom, “I’m gonna hose off Morty in the garage.”

“All right, Dad.”

Rick dragged me into the garage, which was piled high with cardboard boxes. My feet left a blue slime trail on the floor. I hoped Snuffles didn’t get into it. 

“Did we really have to steal that alien’s eggs?” I said. “It was only trying to save its kids.”

"You can't make an omelette without infanticide, Morty. Besides, this species of aliens eats its own babies, we-we’re morally justified.” Rick pulled out the hose. “Okay, take your clothes off.”

“I’m not stripping in front of my grandpa!”

“Then have fun peeling your skin off. Wanna bet on how many sheets it’ll come off in? I’ll take the high on ten—”

“Oh geez!” I wriggled out of my slimy clothing. A spray of freezing water hit me in the chest. “Ow! That’s cold!”

“I can’t use warm water, it’ll activate the toxin.”

“Is th-that true, or are you j-just being an asshole?” My teeth chattered. Gobs of slime washed down the driveway and into the sewers. Now it was the city’s problem.

“Would I lie to you, kid?” Rick turned off the hose.

“I’ve only known you for ten minutes, and you’ve already lied to me. ‘Help me with an errand, it’ll only take ten minutes, oh, go grab those alien eggs, you’ll be f-f-fine,’” I chattered. 

“Technically, none of those were lies.” Rick threw a towel in my face. “Now dry up, I have the antidote.” I patted myself gingerly with the towel, wary of ripping my skin off. Rick pulled out a jar of beige cream and scooped out a big glob. He grabbed my right hand and rubbed it into my palm. The thick cream melted into my skin, like coconut oil. Slowly, methodically, he worked the cream into my hand, moving from thumb to index, middle, ring. My breath caught as his fingers wrapped around my pinky, pulling my soulbond up and down. I couldn’t feel through the soulbond, it isn’t like skin, but it was still weirdly intimate. I bit my lip, trying not to be weird about it. Rick couldn’t see it, anyway. 

“T-that’s enough, I can put on the rest.” My lubricated hand slid easily from his grasp. Rick watched intently while I smeared more cream on myself.

“W-what are you looking at?” 

“You missed a spot. Here.” Rick ran a finger down my neck, smoothing out a clot of cream. My face flushed. Between the blood flow and the rubbing, at least I was no longer cold. Rick’s face was awfully close to mine. Rick pursed his lips, like he was about to say something. Abruptly, he pulled away.

“You should be good now, let me know if there’s any swelling.” He pulled a flask from his coat and took a long pull. 

In the process of applying the cream, my soulbond bracelet had come undone. The red string encircled the two of us, glowing faintly, like some kind of summoning circle. That had been part of a soulmate ritual, I remembered, stepping into a loop made of your soulbond. What ritual was that for again?

“Dad! Morty! Dinner’s ready,” Mom called from the kitchen. 

“Mmm, Beth, smells delicious!” Rick turned away, casually disturbing the soulbond circle. I rewrapped the soulbond around my arm, turning over a half-remembered chant in my mind.  _ Health, wealth, husband, wife, I want a mate that’s mine for life. Mine to keep, mine to hold, mine to marry and to grow old. _

***

“—and I found this German dude, Stefan, who’s gonna let me crash on his couch,” said Summer. 

“I’m glad you got that leg of your search settled,” said Mom. “More chicken, Dad?”

“Sure thing, sweetie,” said Rick. “This is the best chicken I’ve had in years! That peppery skin, muah!” Rick kissed into his hand. He sure was laying it on awfully thick. Mom’s chicken was okay, but frankly, I preferred the grocery’s rotisserie chicken. Mom blushed at the compliment.

“A guy?” said my father, a man with the physique of bread dough. “Couldn’t you find a girl to host you?”

“I’m kind of in a hurry, Dad,” said Summer. “My flight leaves in two weeks.”

“I don’t trust those European men. What if he pulls the moves on you?”

“Then I’ll mace him in the face and crash in a hostel.”

“I still think it would be better if we got you one of those guided tours.” Dad tapped his fork against his plate. “There was that one on TV, what was it called, ‘SoulSearch’?”

“Jerry,” Mom said, “We are not blowing Summer’s entire college fund on finding her soulmate.”

“But Beth,” Dad whined, “a soulmate is forever!”

“So is an education.” Beth took a sip of her wine. “Summer should be able to support herself, soulmate or no soulmate.” Dad dropped his voice conspiratorially.

“Well, if that ritual I bought was worth its salt, Summer won’t have to work a day in her life.”

“So that’s where that credit card charge came from.” Mom narrowed her eyes. “I was going to talk to Morty about that.”

“Aww geez, Mom, I’m not that dumb, I-I know how to pirate stuff like that.”

“It doesn’t work unless you pay for it,” said Jerry.

“It doesn’t work at all, Jerry!” said Beth. “I can’t believe I married a guy who would fall for an online scam like that—”

“Oh my god, my parents are arguing again.” Summer tapped away at her cellphone, no doubt complaining in a group chat. I pushed my peas around my plate. Another typical family dinner. Mom and Dad would argue themselves out in time for dessert.

“As much as I’d love hearing you relitigate your marriage,” interrupted Rick, “there’s a slice of microwaved pie with my name on it.” Rick shot a portal, walked into it, and came out wearing a pair of high-tech goggles. He shot a smaller portal at Summer’s wrist, causing her hand to fall into her mashed potatoes.

“My texting hand!” Summer shrieked.

“Excuse me.” Rick disappeared into another portal. Dad gaped at the sci-fi events that had just transpired. 

“What the heck just happened?” Dad pointed towards the empty space where Rick had been. “Everyone saw that, right? I’m not going crazy?”

“No, that was real,” I said. Typical Dad, always late to the party. “Rick took me through a portal earlier today.”

“That can’t be safe. I don’t want any sci-fi shenanigans going on in my household.”

“Hush. You’re just jealous your father doesn’t rearrange the laws of space and time on a regular basis.” Mom drained her wine. Summer pecked frantically at her cellphone with her remaining hand. I could read what she was typing:  _ something amazing just happened. mom and dad stopped arguing. _

A few minutes later, the portal appeared again. A portly, middle-aged man stumbled through, shouting in Chinese. Rick followed, clutching an opened bottle of floral liquor.

“Summer,” belched Rick, “meet your soulmate.”

“What?” Summer looked up from her cellphone at the balding man in front of her. “I don’t believe it.”

“See for yourself.” Summer’s right hand reappeared on her wrist. She looked at her hand, then at the Chinese man, then back at her hand. Her eyes grew wide.

“No. Way.” The Chinese man seemed just as shocked. “He’s, umm, not exactly what I expected.”

“Oh really, Summer? Tell me, what were you expecting?” Rick crossed his arms, dangling the bottle from his fingers.

“You know! Someone a little more, uhh—”

“White? How racist of you.” Summer tossed her hair back.

“I was going to say tall.”

“Don’t try to hide it. I didn’t see China or India on your itinerary. You’re just setting yourself up for failure; a third of all people are Asian people, you know.” The Chinese man knelt at Summer’s feet, grunting as his blubbery stomach compressed, and took her hand. I couldn’t see their soulbonds, but he was obviously pressing his against hers. Summer scootched to the far edge of her seat, away from the man.

Summer laughed nervously. “Can I get an exchange?”

“I wouldn’t throw him back just yet.” Rick swigged again. “Mr. Jin here is the largest supplier of cloth products in the Zhejiang province. I’m sure he could cut you a deal if you needed, say, ten thousand Hello Kitty backpacks.” Summer still looked doubtful.

“I can’t believe I’m here for this beautiful moment,” said Dad. A bright flash shone in Summer’s face as Dad took a picture, memorializing Summer’s cringe for eternity. “That’s going in the scrapbook for sure!”

***

It turns out I shouldn’t have worried about finishing my homework. On Monday, instead of trying not to fall asleep in class, I was running for my life from Gromflamite border police and their attack dragonflies. On Tuesday, we intercepted a delivery of alien drugs and flipped them to a primitive culture in exchange for all their uranium. On Wednesday, we wore pink dresses and infiltrated Princess Tamora’s ball, all so Rick could steal the crown jewels and also the virginities of her ladies-in-waiting. On Thursday, Rick turned a lawnmower and spare parts from the garage into a bona-fide flying saucer, then scared some cowtippers shitless. Now it was Friday, and Rick and I were watching television in the living room, looking for all the world like an ordinary grandpa and grandson, not a mad scientist and his helpless lackey.

My entire body hurt. I ached in muscles that I didn’t know existed. An old Bond movie was playing, but I couldn’t focus on the screen. I kept stealing glances at Rick, who was drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle. Any minute now, he would declare he was hungry and then we’d go to a planet made of sentient bagel bites and commit genocide or some bullshit like that. Rick noticed my looks and said,

“What’s the matter, Morty, do you not like old movies? Just relax and enjoy the sexism.”

“H-how am I supposed to relax when you’re just going to whisk me off on some crazy dangerous ‘adventure?’” I gripped the seat cushion, like it could protect me from Rick’s whims.

“I can guarantee you my ass and this couch are not separating for the next two hours. Drink?” Rick pointed the bottle towards me. 

“No thanks.” I knew from DARE that drugs turned your brain into fried eggs.

“Ooh, free booze.” A manicured hand reached over the back of the couch and grabbed the bottle. Summer lifted the bottle to her mouth and took a swig. 

“Uhrg, what is this, nail polish?” Summer grimaced.

“If you don’t like it, give it back,” said Rick.

“Hold on.” Summer took another gulp before handing it back. “Hey, guess what? I got another package from Zhong Zhong!” Summer waved a square leather handbag in my face. “Heather is just going to die when she sees this!”

“Where does he get all this stuff?” 

“He’s got hookups with all the manufacturers. How do I look?” Summer’s arms were piled with gleaming bracelets.

“Like a disco ball,” I said. Rick barked a laugh.

“Disco ball, that’s a good one. Hey, if you ever need to sneak into a glitter factory, you’d blend right in!”

“Uhrg, you just don’t understand fashion. I bet Instagram is gonna eat this up.” Summer wandered off, cellphone in hand, searching for the perfect selfie background. Rick kept sniggering for a good minute, clutching his half-empty bottle.

“Wow, Summer and Mr. Jin sure are getting along well.” Mr. Jin’s supply met Summer’s demand. They really were suited for each other.  

“Yeah.” Rick drummed his fingers on his bottle. “I give it another week, tops.” My head jerked up.

“What? Why?”

“Lets just say ‘Zhong Zhong’ hasn’t been exactly honest about his home situation.” 

“A-and you’re just setting Summer up for heartbreak? Why would you even bother to find her soulmate then?”

“Because the best cure for romanticism is romance.” Rick took a long pull.

“Gee, Rick, I was-I was going to ask you to find my soulmate.”

“Now why do you want to start that early? You really got that preggo kink?”

“No! I mean, well—” My hands clenched in my lap. Was I really going to tell Rick my secret? But nobody else could help, and he was in a pretty good mood right now. “There’s something wrong with my soulbond,” I said in a low voice, staring at my hands. “It-it’s broken. I was wondering if you could, maybe, find my soulmate?” Rick was silent for a beat. His lips tightened.

“Morty, if your soulbond’s been broken, there’s nothing I can do.” Rick shifted in his seat. “I can’t follow a trail that’s not there.”

“Oh.” I hunched down, weighed down by a sudden burden. If not even Rick could fix me, then I really was broken.

“Hey, you really lucked out—dodged a bullet there.” Rick punched me lightly on the shoulder. He prattled on, while my gut only got heavier. “Maybe your soulmate was a terrible person. Murderers have soulmates, and so do terrorists and pedophiles. Hitler had a soulmate. Would you want to be bound to Hitler?”

“Yes!” I shouted, then quickly backpedaled. “Well, maybe not Hitler, but even if my soulmate was a terrible person, they’re  _ my _ terrible person. I-I just,” I took a deep breath, “I don’t want to be alone anymore. You understand that, right?”

Rick considered me. He must think I’m pathetic, an angsty teen pouring out his heart to an old, jaded man. But he didn’t push further. Instead, he pointed at the screen.

“Look, it’s the climactic battle. Wilhelm scream coming in three, two, one—” The mook screamed as he fell off the platform. Rick took a swig. “That’s gotta count for some drinking game.” 

I got what he was trying to do: distract me with a dumb movie so I’d feel better. I guess I could have left and cried alone in my room. But I was sick of feeling sorry for myself. So I played along.

“Yeah, like, take a drink every time someone dies?”

“That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Well, all those guys just got shot down.”

“Bottoms up!”

***

Eventually, I began to discern a pattern in Rick’s adventures. The skills from one adventure built onto another, like a curriculum devised by a deranged Dumbledore. Like that time we went skeet shooting on a planet with laser pistols, aiming at fist-sized fuzzballs that drifted on the wind. Rick insisted they were only plant seeds, but when I managed to graze one, it shrieked. We kept shooting until I could vaporize a fuzzball from 100 yards. Later that week, we were fleeing from a drug-deal gone wrong in a hot-wired scooter. He steered through the trash-clogged alleyways, and I manned the guns, shooting down the Velociraptor thugs that were chasing us. To celebrate our survival, Rick took us to an arcade, where we got the high score on the Jurassic Park shooter.

When Rick and I portaled back with an armful of cheap prizes, Summer was yelling into the phone.

“When were you going to tell me you were already married!” On the other side, Mr. Jin stammered. 

“Oh boy, just in time for the fireworks,” said Rick. 

“And there’s kids too? I’m not going to be your concubine!” More conversation. “And the leather on my ‘Louis Vuitton’ purse is peeling. We’re through!” Summer ended the call.

“Aww, Sum-sum, what’s the matter?” Rick said with false sympathy.

“I don’t want to hear it, Grandpa Rick!” Summer’s voice cracked. “I can’t believe he did that to me. I’m his soulmate!”

“Gee, who could have guessed that a relationship with a complete stranger from the opposite side of the planet could have gone so horribly wrong?” Summer started crying.

“Cut it out, Rick,” I said, “Summer just broke up with someone.”

“Not just someone. My soulmate!” Summer wailed.

“There, there.” I patted Summer on the back. “Do you need anything?”

“I know what she needs.” Rick offered his flask. Summer snatched it up and downed the entire thing.

“Good girl, just drink and forget.” Summer wiped her face with her arm.

“Grandpa Rick, can you get me a new soulmate?”

“That kind of defeats the purpose of a soulmate, Summer. But, I’ll see what I can do. Now, who wants to get riggety-riggety-wrecked!” 

***

Rick took us to a bar in Rigel B that served alcohol to whoever could pay for it. Somehow, he convinced me to take a shot. And another. And another. By the time we finished, all three of us were wasted.

I lurched towards my bed, tripping over a discarded pair of pants and falling onto my face. Lying down good. At least the floor wasn’t spinning.

“C’mon, get up.” Rick picked me up and tossed me onto my bed. “Pff, what a lightweight.”

“‘M not an al-alc-drunk,” I mumbled. Rick passed me a bottle of water. I chugged it, spilling water all down my front.

“You’re supposed to be hydrating, not showering.” I rolled onto my front.

“I’m toooottttaaaally dry.”

Rick chuckled. “Baby’s first night out.” He rubbed my back in soothing circles. The warmth of his hands penetrated through his gloves, soaking into my thirsty skin. Fuck, that felt good. I didn’t know how much I craved human contact; it felt like so long since I’d been touched this much. I melted into a puddle under his ministrations. 

Other parts of me felt good as well. I’m a teenager; these things happen. Ordinarily, I would have been embarrassed, but the booze burned away all my inhibitions. I pressed my groin into the bed, surreptitiously, I thought.

“All right, that’s enough,” Rick pulled away. 

“Nooo, don’t go.” The soulbond had gotten loose from my hand again. On a whim, I looped it around the back of Rick’s neck. “Got ya.” I tugged, reeling him in. Our foreheads bumped together, my smooth skin pressed against his wrinkles. We were so close, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“Yeah, you got me good.” He tilted his head forward, slipping out of the loop. His hands returned to my back, which is what I wanted. I groaned as he pressed into a tight muscle. “You’re getting stronger every day. You might even give me a run for my money, some day.”

“Then you’ll have to give me my own lab coat.”

“Maybe.”

“With a liiitle tiny flask.”

Rick grunted. “Maybe a thimble.” He stayed with me until I fell asleep.

***

The throne room of the Banished Fortress was decorated in pairs. Two rows of carved black columns looming over the path to the throne. Two columns of robotic guards, their carapaces styled after fallen knights. Two curved horns jutting from the helmet of Overlord Overkill, an massive humanoid wearing spiked metal armor. One prisoner in front of the throne, his arms bound behind him. 

Rick stood tall, refusing to be cowed by the phasers pointed at his face. He held his head high, as if they were equals instead of villian and prisoner. 

“Real nice place you got here,” said Rick. “Got a real Hot Topic vibe. Do you sell T-shirts?”

“Silence, fool,” boomed Overlord Overkill. “I have been watching your every move since you landed in my kingdom. Those Gelerian peasants,” he spat, “thought they could hire you to infiltrate my fortress with your piddling little portal gun.” A compartment opened in the throne’s arm, and Rick’s portal gun rose out of it on a little platform. The Overlord picked it up between his thumb and index fingers. “A clever little tool, this is. But useless against me.” With a twitch of his fingers, he crushed it like it was a gnat.

“My portal gun!” Rick bolted forward for a second before being stopped by a gun to the face. “You’ll pay for that!”

“I could crush you as easily as I crushed your crowning achievement.” The Overlord leaned forward, examining Rick like a particularly interesting bug. “But your vim amuses me, human. I have use for a clever man. Join me, Rick, and you shall be rewarded beyond your imagination.”

“Oh really?” The corner of Rick’s mouth quirked up. “I have a pretty big imagination.” 

“What is it you desire? Wealth? Fame? Power?”

“Well,” Rick drawled, “There is one thing.”

“Speak.”

“Jerk me off,” Rick said, his face breaking into a shit-eating grin.

“What?” The Overlord drew back, like he’d been stung. 

“Yeah, and lick my balls too, I want them nice and drippy—” 

“You will pay for your insolence!” A guard’s metal hand grabbed Rick’s head, smashing his face to the ground. The laser gun pointed at his head glowed red. The Overlord stood up, pointing a gauntleted finger at Rick. “I shall flay your molecules—” Just then, a laser shot through the helmet’s eyehole. The beam seared through the Overlord’s flesh, bounced off the mirrored interior and punched another hole in the Overlord’s skull. Slowly, like a felled tree, the Overlord fell forward. When he hit the ground, his helmet fell off, revealing a blackened mess that smelt of charred pork. The gleaming red eyes of the robot guards dimmed with the death of their leader. 

“Took you long enough, Morty.” Rick wiggled his head out of the grasp of the deactivated guard. “Another minute and my skull would have been salsa.” 

“Geez, I was waiting for a clean shot. It was your job to keep him distracted.” I slung my sniper rifle across my back and parkoured down the column I had been perched on. All those carvings depicting heinous acts of violence made great handholds. Rick was struggling to extricate himself from the heavy robot on top of him. “Here, let me help.” I took out the real portal gun, which Rick had entrusted to me for safekeeping, and shot a portal under Rick. Rick fell through, popping out of another portal that appeared on the ground a few feet away. He flailed on his back, finding no purchase on the portal’s surface. I offered my hand to him.

“Oh, aren’t you so clever with the portal tricks.” Rick accepted, and pulled himself up.

“Learned from the best.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rick took back his portal gun, ruffling my hair in repayment. “Let’s have a look at this throne.” Rick climbed over the Overlord’s corpse and into the seat of the throne. Jet-black buttons covered the arm of the throne, each the size of Rick’s fist. He punched at the keys until a holographic star map appeared. Each celestial body was overlaid with vital statistics like size, distance, and total population. The map was currently centered on a dense spec, which, the overlay informed us, used to be the planet Xellos 5.

“Jackpot, motherfuckers!” Rick fistpumped. “How much you think I can get on the black market for a fully-automated planet compactor?”

“Rick, I thought we were saving the Gelerian Rebels from having their planet compacted.”

“They’ll be fine,” Rick waved his hand dismissively, “as long as no anti-Gelerian groups can outbid the the Diamond Authority.” He cracked his knuckles. “Now what’s a good planetoid I can test this on—” 

“Sorry, Rick, I can’t let you do that.” I shot the throne arm with my backup pistol. Rick flinched back as the panel blew up, sparks jumping into his hair. The map projection cut out. 

“What the hell, Morty!” Rick mashed the buttons, but nothing happened. “We could have been rich!” 

“I’m keeping my promise to the Princess, Rick. That’s one less doomsday device in the world.” 

“Smartass cocky bitch, always playing the goddamn hero.” Rick grumbled. 

“Yup, that’s me.” I twirled the pistol around my index finger. Unfortunately, I twirled a little too hard, and the gun flew off my finger, ruining the effect. The gun landed at Rick’s feet.

“You derpy little peanut. Be careful with your high-caliber laser weapons.” Rick continued grumbling, but I could tell he wasn’t really mad at me. “At least help me loot this bling.” Rick picked out the black gems embedded in the throne’s back and tossed them to me. “This fucker has all the mines in the quadrant and he chooses an all-black palette. I would have at least put some red in there, mix it up a little.”

“Maybe he was colorblind.” A low rumble shook the room. “Rick, I think something’s wrong.” The tremors grew, knocking over some of the robot guards. 

“Hmm, must have tripped a dead man’s switch somewhere,” Rick said nonchalantly. He continued picking out gems. 

“Rick, lets go.” A column crashed to the ground, crushing the robot guards. 

“Just one more.” Rick pried at a huge gem the size of his head. “Damn, this one’s stuck good—” With an awful crack, the floor spit in two. A chasm opened under the throne, tipping it to the side. I was thrown to the ground, the gems skittering every which way. Rick fell on his side, groaning.

“Okay, time to go.” He pulled out the portal gun, readying to fire. The floor lurched, tilting at a sixty-degree angle. A chunk of rock crashed into Rick’s body, launching him towards the abyss. “Fuck!” He grabbed at the floor, trying to stop his fall, but the smooth marble offered no purchase. As he skidded past me, I caught his gloved hand, his momentum dragging me along. We skidded to a stop near the chasm’s edge.

“Rick, the portal!” Rick pulled the trigger but nothing happened. 

“Damnit, it must have gotten knocked!” Rick bit down the glowing green battery, screwing it tighter with his mouth. This close to the edge, I could see the boundary of the pocket dimension, a nauseating swirl of colors like the film of a soap bubble. Rick’s hands must have been sweating an awful lot, because his left hand was slipping out of its glove. I held on as tight as I could, but I didn’t dare move. The friction of my bare arms on the ground was all that kept us from falling off. 

A sharp pain in my back. I curled up instinctively, jerking my limbs inward. The glove came off in my hand. Rick’s hand was pale and shiny with sweat. Wrapped around his wrist was a bright red string.

Red like a soulbond. I could see Rick’s soulbond. Rick was my soulmate.

Rick began to fall. He looked up in shock and betrayal. “Morty, what have you done?” As his body left the edge, his soulbond uncoiled, trailing behind him like a vein of blood. I was in shock. Rick, my soulmate. Rick, falling to his death. I couldn’t answer him, for the ground tilted again, this time to ninety degrees.

Mere friction couldn’t keep me stuck to the ground. I peeled off the polished rock and into freefall. My limbs flailed wildly as I tried to make my body into a parachute. The end of Rick’s soulbond flapped in my face and I grabbed it like a lifeline. Rick, too, was falling into a void, but his panic was more focused, like he’d done this before. Both his hands were fiddling with the portal gun, his gloved and his free hand with the soulbond trailing off it.

The edge of the bubble dimension was approaching fast. 500 feet. 200 feet. 100 feet. 50 feet. 10 feet.

“Got it!” Rick pointed the portal gun at me. What the hell was he doing, he needed to escape—

Time slowed down, stretching out like an elastic. Rick pierced the boundary of the bubble dimension, its oily colors swallowing him up. He looked at me, eyes wide, mouth opened slightly, words on his lips. And he shot a portal at me.

I fell through the portal onto the hard concrete of the garage floor. As soon as I hit the ground, I whirled behind me, trying to go back through the portal. But the green portal was already closed.

“Rick!” He still had the portal gun. Any second now, he’d pop into the garage with a wisecrack about “bursting your bubble.” He’d ruffle my hair and we’d go watch reruns of Seinfeld in the TV room. 

Minutes past, and still no sickly green portal. I clenched Rick’s soulbond with a white-knuckled grip. Oh god, Rick was my soulmate. My own grandpa, my destined partner. Why didn’t he tell me? Sure, it was fucked up, but we did fucked up shit all the time. All those adventures—my mind went to all the times he’d touched me. Rubbing cream over my burns. Adjusting my posture with the gun. Hugs and fistbumps and head pats— 

I felt sick. When did it happen? When did I go from hating his attention to craving it? He dribbled praise and I lapped it up like a mewling kitten. 

“Grandpa Rick? Morty? Are you back?” It was Summer. “Woah, what happened to you?” I was still covered in sweat and rock dust.

“I’m fine. Rick, he’s going to be back any minute now.” My voice came out trembling. 

“Okay then,” Summer said, with one eyebrow raised. She poked around the shelves full of Rick’s science crap. “Have you seen the soulbond shears?”

“The what?”

“They’re like scissors with lightsabers for blades? Rick told me I could use them in case I wanted to leave Mr. Jin and start over.”

“That bastard!” My hands were shaking.

“I know, right? He didn’t even have the decency to give me real Gucci sunglasses—”

“No, Rick! Rick is my soulmate! He’s been kidnapping me and grooming me and-and—” I swallowed, “I’m not a freak. Rick cut my soulbond!”

“Oh. My. God.” Summer lifted a hand to her mouth. “So that’s why he only takes you on adventures.”

“He didn’t even tell me—” My voice cracked. “He just let me think I was broken—”

“Umm, there there?” Summer patted me awkwardly on my back. Tears burned in my eyes. “Where is Rick now?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. “If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll never come back.” 

***

After that, life went back to normal. Normal-ish. I told Mom and Dad that Rick had been my soulmate the entire time. At first, Mom didn’t believe that her beloved father could be a skeevy pedo, but I showed her the two ends of the soulbond using Rick’s soulbond glasses. After that, she drained an entire bottle of wine. Dad had never liked Rick, and this was his vindication. I’d given him the ultimate coup de grace for their arguments. 

Rick didn’t return that day, or the next, so I went back to school. I missed so much class, I needed to go to summer school to have a hope of graduating on time. So instead of chilling in my house and playing video games, I had to wake up at 6 AM to take the bus into the city, where I sat in a stifling classroom with the other “slow” kids. Making up two reams of homework. Trying not to remember the weight of a laser pistol in my hand, the heart-pounding thrill of a heist gone right, the flush of riches and praise.

Even with my hardest effort, I scored ten points below the cutoff line for passing math. That night, my parents argued over whether to hire more tutors or push me into trade school. Money was tight, now that Summer was actually attending college in the fall. But she seemed more interested in finding and polishing off Rick’s booze stash than becoming a proud Buckeye.

That night, I had a dream. I stood in a sea of shoulder-high grass which stretched as far as the eye could see. No trees, no buildings. Just a figure with spiky blue hair, walking away from me.

“Rick!” I called out. The hungry wind ripped the words from my mouth. I ran after him, but my feet were sucked down, as if the ground was taffy. I looked at my feet. Winding through the grass stalks was a red soulbond. I grabbed it and pulled, hoisting myself along like I was pulling myself out of quicksand. Grass blades blades lashed at my face, leaving thousands of papercuts. But I had to get out. I couldn’t stay in this field forever.

I broke free of the grass and found myself fifty feet away from a cliff. Standing at the edge was Rick, back turned. The soulbond terminated at his hand. 

“Rick! Where the hell have you been?” Rick said nothing. He could have been a scarecrow, the only motion his clothes whipping in the wind. “You asshole, say something! Why didn’t you tell me you were my soulmate? You knew the whole time but you lied to me.” Rick remained motionless. “Turn around and face me! Or are you scared?”

Without a word, Rick swung around. From the front, he looked like he’d lost a fight with a combine harvester. Raw wounds covered his torso, framed by shredded blue cloth. Rick had always been a skinny dude, but now he really did look like a scarecrow, his clothes lose on his frame. He’d lost his belt at some point; maybe he’d eaten it. He looked hungry; he looked sad.

“What happened to you?” As I took a step forward, a gust blew from behind me, strong enough to flatten the grass. I stumbled forward with the force of it. Wind whipped through Rick’s hollow sleeves, puffing them full. Like sails, they pushed him backwards. Rick tipped off the edge of the cliff.

“No!” I sprinted forward, my hand outstretched. This time, maybe—Rick fell slowly, but I ran more slowly still. I reached the edge too late. Rick was falling, his arms splayed to the side, his mouth parted. Exactly like I remembered it, down to the wrinkle. His body accelerated towards an oily river, black as space and flecked with stars.

Rick’s lips moved.  _ Find me _ , he mouthed. Then he was swallowed up by darkness.

“Rick!” I woke up in a cold sweat with my legs tangled in the sheets. Was that a dream? Or a nightmare? I kicked away the sheets and sprinted to the garage. I could barely open the garage door, so packed was it with boxes. Dad was going through Rick’s stuff, trying to decide what to keep and what to sell. 

I pushed aside the boxes, searching for a hint of red. The soulbond had to be here, this is where I left it. A thin red strand caught my eye from inside a box. I dived in, digging through machine parts and circuit boards. There it was, a red string. I grabbed it, but the moment I touched it, I knew from its stiffness that it was only a red wire.

I extricate myself from the cardboard box and got to my knees, peeking through the alleys between boxes. Finally, I spotted it. A luminescent red strand. I pushed aside the stacked boxes, though they swayed precariously, until there was a gap wide enough to reach through and grab it.

As I closed my hand around the soulbond, a flood of relief washed over me. My throat made an involuntary noise. I knelt, the gritty floor cutting into my knees, and hugged the soulbond to my chest. Wherever Rick was, he was still alive. Tears overflowed my eyes, and I let them run. Fuck, how could I think I hated Rick? He made my life worth living. He trained me and showed me the wonders of the universe. He looked at me and saw a partner, not a burden. And now he was gone— 

Gone, but not forgotten. Rick’s spaceship was still in the garage. Dad couldn’t get rid of it; it went into full defense mode whenever he touched it. It still had a full tank of whatever it used for fuel. And I had a GPS right here. 

I tied Rick’s end of the soulbond to my left wrist. Now I had two soulbond bracelets, a matching set. I tapped my wrists together like a prayer.

Wherever you are, Rick, I’ll find you.

**Author's Note:**

> Part one of two or three, haven't decided yet. Written for the 2017 RickMorty Famdom Secret Santa.


End file.
